Part One
In which the Squire of Henley on Thames uncovers a sinister plot and rails against censorship!
Can we really trust our memories? And can we really trust wealthy elites not to exploit our memories in order to push their broken narratives? And why can I never remember where I left my car keys?
Hello, you beautiful awakening half-formed memories on the cusp of recollection as we transition together from the land of sleepy old Morpheus into the real-life waking world! We all sometimes have difficulty remembering the exact sequence of events and we can easily conflate things what happened a long time ago in our heads. Luckily as we all recherche du temps perdu Russell Brand is here to in-no-way-whatsoever exploit our memoretical deficiencies!
So stretch your old minds back all the way to Russell’s video posted to YouTube on 19th of September 2022, in which Russell asks, “did COVID leak from a lab in the US?”. I’ll let that sink in. No further comment ought to be necessary. This is a weird mutation of the lab-leak hypothesis, a hypothesis that only exists due to the presence of a research laboratory focused on virology at the epicenter of the COVID pandemic in Wuhan, China. Were it not for this one fact, the lab-leak hypothesis would not exist in any serious form. So what is this nonsense?
Let’s start with Russell’s source and his selective reading of it; an article published in the Telegraph on 14th of September 2022, reporting on the findings of a committee set up by the Lancet medical journal under commission from the World Health Organization to identify lessons from the COVID pandemic.
Ah The Telegraph! Sometimes known as “The Torygraph” due to its position as the hallowed mouthpiece of little Englander conservatism. It is the thwack of leather cricket ball on willow bat, old maids bicycling to holy communion through the morning mist, the peels of ancient parish churches, warm beer, and ruddy faced yeomen touching their caps to the local squire. All reduced down; condensed and reproduced in print form daily, Monday through Friday. And what could be a more fitting read for our Russell, landed gentry and squire of Henley on Thames? And now, of course, the literal land-lord of a 16th-century pub which he is currently using to house his staff (can’t ‘ave them in the house, don’t-cha-know?), while converting it into a studio for his latest endeavor- a daily video blog on the far-right Rumble platform, which also happens to host Trump’s floundering Truth Social.
Oh, Russell, I hope you’re not relying on those checks coming in from Rumble to pay for the million-dollar-plus mortgage on that pub. Not with their biggest customer stiffing them for $1.6 million dollars and then trying to raise cash through a shady, con-the-rubes “investment” plan.
The Telegraph is one of those papers that delivers so-called “toast droppers”; stories that are read at the breakfast table and so disquiet the residents of little England as to cause them to drop the toast in exasperation and outrage. Not that Russell has seen anything so carby as a slice of toast in the last 20 years, but the paroxysms of joy, evinced by his video presentation of the story, doubtless caused him to drop his breakfast of gluten-free nuts and seeds that had been foraged by his butler from the aisles of the local Sainsburys.
But I digress - on the back of the Telegraph article, Russell boldly declares that not only might COVID have come from a lab, but it might have come from a lab not even in Wuhan! And so he asks, what was it with all that censorship three years ago?
And here we hit one of Russell’s favorite rhetorical techniques; the “Half-Remembered, Half Truth". You remember that thing don't you? Yeah, that thing that totally happened. I told you about it at the time. You remember! That trivial piece of wild speculation? Well we've incorporated that into the narrative now.
I am therefore absolutely sure that you remember all that draconian censorship around the lab-leak hypothesis three years ago? Sure you do! You remember being afraid to so much as whisper “lab leak hypothesis”? Goons would whisk you off the streets and drag you to the nearest reeducation center if you so much as thought about viruses in labs!
Weird though, if you actually look back over the past three years you can easily pick up multiple instances of news media and public authorities talking about the potential for an accidental lab release as a source for the outbreak. Here's a BBC report openly discussing possible origins in May of 2020. Here’s Newsweek, also in May of that year, reporting on US intelligence concerns around a potential lab-leak origin from two months earlier. The Washington Post and Business Insider in May of 2021.
Granted, a wider review of news media over the period shows the majority opinion appears to have remained with a so-called zoonotic spill-over - at times stated as such in categorical terms by some outlets - but there has been a steady stream of scientists cautioning that a lab escape should not be disregarded. So where is the censorship?
Even senior politicians as far back as February 2020 and members of the US government in May 2020 were championing the theory (almost as soon as the Trump administration appeared to realize that the virus even existed/s). Of course, their take on the matter went a little beyond a lab leak, extending to the ridiculous; COVID as a man-made bio-weapon intentionally unleashed on America by the Chinese to personally damage Donald Trump’s political fortunes.
And here is the underlying problem with our discourse around the lab-leak hypothesis; that it is bound up in conspiracy theories of the virus being bioengineered as a weapon that was either accidentally or intentionally released. This can be seen in perhaps my favorite example of this kind of thinking; the statements of Louisiana congressman Clay Higgins upon catching COVID for a second time, where he decried the Chinese “biological attack weaponized virus" before explaining that he will treat it with “eastern and holistic medicine”. Perfectly happy to rely on Chinese stereotypes for both disease and cure.
Stereotyping? Why, yes, didn’t you know? Some people might consider the portrayal of a secretive and sinister weapons program undertaken by shifty Chinese scientists at the direction of their inscrutable masters as containing some elements of racial bias. Turns out, the representation of China as secretly targeting people of European origin in order to seize global power has deep and disturbing roots.
To explore these roots, you need look no further than “author” Sax Rohmer's vile tome “ The Mystery of Dr Fu Manchu” (US title “The Insidious Dr. Fu Manchu”). This was a manifestation of the so-called Yellow Peril panic of the early 20th century when European and American empires felt threatened by Chinese nationalist sentiments that were chafing against western subjugation at the height of China’s 100 years of humiliation. China, and the Chinese people, were characterized as amoral schemers in relentless pursuit of world domination - unafraid of defiling innocent white women and deploying their vile narcotics as a weapon to enslave the white race (Opium Wars anyone?). I once had the misfortune of trying to read Sax Rohmer, thinking that his work might be a jolly old Boy's Own style romp full of out-of-date racial stereotypes that hadn’t aged well; maybe just a tad worse than H. Rider Haggard. Oh boy, was I mistaken! I gave up on the book after finding the naked racism and xenophobia too grueling to continue. It was on a scale of viciousness similar to the Protocols of the Elders of Zion and a genuinely tough read for something that was meant to be disposable pulp fiction. I do not recommend the experience.
These ideas, however, contribute to the back-drop of modern vilification of China that extends beyond simple political criticism. China as the Yellow Peril hell-bent on overturning western hegemony. Ideas that were put to work in order to cover for the failings of the Trump presidency: at first for its failed economic isolationism and subsequently for its failed early response to the COVID pandemic.
The specter of conspiracy and racism is at the root of many media outlets' caution over discussing and broadcasting the lab-leak hypothesis - that it could easily become a vehicle for cynical scapegoating with the potential to create a violent backlash. Maybe I’m overthinking this; the racist scapegoating was hardly hidden - who can forget “Kung Flu”, “The China Virus” and the inevitable consequences? Oh, that’s right, you can’t remember, because none of that stuff happened because of all of the censorship!
But Russell doesn't see this approach as racist, on the contrary, he prefers to think that any suggestion that the virus originates in so-called "wet markets" is a criticism of Chinese culture and therefore racist. And he's willing to put on a silly voice and do some ironic racism to prove his point! It's alright though, he's merely parodying racism!
Of course, for Russell's argument to work, you need to accept that poor hygiene and food safety are inherent and unchangeable aspects of Chinese culture. Yes, I know other societies have managed to preserve their culinary tradition while achieving satisfactory standards of hygiene and food safety, but Russell is implying that the Chinese simply can not do that; their entire culture revolves around wallowing in filth! Look, I know that Chinese restaurants in civilized places like Henley on Thames have to adhere to western standards of cleanliness and food hygiene, but that's different! Russell knows that when they eat at home, they like to add the filth back in.
The good Squire Russell Brand is once again a land-lord, this time the slum lord who refuses to upgrade or repair the squalid accommodations he provides to immigrant tenants because "that's the way they like it! I mean, have you seen where they come from? Mud huts!"
I suppose if bird flu were found in a Bernard Mathew’s Turkey-Twizzler, Russell would consider it a racial slur against the good people of Norfolk (translation for Americans - think Tyson Foods, Dino Nuggets, good people of Arkansas). And when I say "good people of Arkansas" I intend that to include the undocumented migrant labor originating from Central America who largely staff the factory floors of meat processing plants, not just in Arkansas, but throughout the US.
For me, this is a big bone of contention with Russell and his opposition to COVID safety measures; it turns out that being anti-vax, anti-mask, and anti-lockdown, are all luxuries for the wealthy that are paid for with the lives of working folk. Russell likes to pretend that he's part of a grassroots movement and that both COVID protests and Trump rallies are outpourings of working-class frustration toward government overreach. but that's simply a lie. You are not part of a proletariat struggling under the boot of capitalist overlords if you can afford to take multiple days away from work and drive across the country to attend a COVID protest. Nor if you can afford to squander your disposable income on thousands of dollars worth of flags and rigging to festoon the back of your $90K+ fully loaded F150. And you'll be glad to know that, as you snaffle down hotdogs from the back of your or $30K Bayliner at a memorial day "Boaters for Trump" rally, your holiday snack has a body count.
You see, if you have the luxury of working from home, or in an environment where you are not crammed together with coworkers like sardines in a can, then you can afford to indulge in COVID skepticism. But the people who work in our food processing industries do not have this luxury - for them, it is a matter of life and death. The Guardian ran some excellent articles about the impact of COVID on the food production industry and on the toll on workers in meat processing plants. The latter article is particularly harrowing. And for good measure, here's NPR talking about food executives betting on the COVID death rates in their workforce.
This story sits at the intersection of so much of what is wrong with our society: cynical exploitation of undocumented migrants; terrible working conditions; poverty; lack of statutory sick pay; unequal access to healthcare; public nutrition; food safety; workplace health and safety; psychopathic corporate culture; regulatory capture; political influence and corruption. This should be rich pickings for anyone interested in issues around wealth inequality and how we, as a society, treat our friends and neighbors. You know, the kind of stuff that Russell pretends to take an interest in. But no, none of this rises to a level that can compare with the mild inconvenience that Russell Brand feels when confronted with a face mask mandate, or a little jabby-wabby of vaccine.
You know, at some level Russell's attitude goes beyond mere selfishness and extends toward utterly psychotic.
But there we must leave Part One. Stay tuned for "Part Two - Electric Portaloo" if you want to read about Russell's cherry-picking from news sources to promote narratives that are favorable to his worldview, and to meet the elusive and mysterious Professor Sachs!
But in the meantime, what do you think?
Is a willingness to see the poor suffer and die while you whine on about having to wear a face mask at the Piggly Wiggly merely selfish, or full-on evil? And, is it possible to criticize an authoritarian Chinese government for stuff like obfuscation on COVID, and human rights abuses against Tibetans or Uighurs without resorting to pulling your eyes back, putting on a false mustache and ponytail, and saying "Ah so!"? Does politicization and racialization of debate around the origins of COVID undermine efforts to build international cooperation and play right into the hands of the Chinese government?
Let us know in the comments below! Or don't. Please yourself. But whatever you do do, be sure to "like review subscribe!" Clinga-ding-ding!
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